An Internet Not Far, Far Away Enough

I wonder what the internet would be like if it weren't for Star Wars. While it's especially rife now with the REVENGE OF THE SITH fallout, it's always there. People are unwilling to let go of what they like about it, others are unwilling to refrain from posting so much about how they hate it, and others are just content to write fan fiction describing Qui-Gon penetrating Obi-Wan in a very uncomfortable place. As a huge Star Wars fan, I'm really starting to hate every bit of internet discourse on it. There are a few types of Star Wars internet posters:

- The Realist. This guy usually loves the OT, although not always unconditionally, and can express his likes and dislikes for all the films pretty succintly.

- The Ultra-Nerd. This guy will never, ever agree with anyone who does not express blind love for any facet of Star Wars, but usually doesn't cause a whole lot of trouble.

- The Ultra-Troll. Same as the above, but will happily call anyone every insult under the sun if they say they don't like anything about Star Wars.

- The Easy Rider, Raging Bull. This guy resents Star Wars for its effect on the movie industry.

- The Enjoyer. This guy doesn't have any particular stock in the films, and enjoys all of them purely because they can be fun movies.

- The Bizarro-Ultra-Troll. This guy enjoys getting Star Wars fans riled up, and will post all sorts of shit to get them angry.

- The Pompous Snob. This guy doesn't like Star Wars, but is happy to post repeatedly telling us so.

- The Elf. This guy is that one person who can't say anything about Star Wars without mentioning The Lord of the Rings is better.

- The Willow. As above, only with Buffy/Angel/Firefly.

The combination melee that results from these posters interacting can sometimes, on a rare occasion, make for interesting conversation. However, usually, it descends quickly into boredom, and usually vitriol. Stupid arguments are always inherent, going from 'Luca$ only does everything to sell toys' to the infamous 'X element was just as bad in the OT as it was in the prequels.' You also have the level of nerddom that comes with fans and critics alike, such as 'I can deal with a squid commanding the Rebel forces and a Wookie co-piloting the Millennium Falcon, but I don't believe in a monster that can live in an asteroid,' or my favourite, which I read today, 'Tarkin's head was too big,' which was a genuine comment on SITH.

Of course, so much of this is about the prequels. Would it be different if they didn't exist? I'm not sure. There's always the crowd that hate RETURN OF THE JEDI, and also the crowd that hates Star Wars because it introduced the blockbuster mentality, although curiously, none of them ever rail at JAWS. Add to this the crowd that resents the fact that THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK is always rightly touted as the best episode (seriously, they exist), and you still have a lot of argument material. I guess with the TV show and everything, it'll exist into infinity. I'm just glad I've never run into art of Lando Calrissian bumping ugly with Sy Snootles.

Yet.

(Fett)