Your Music Sucks

One of the few reasons that saves the internet from falling into the total oblivion of sucking 100% is the availability of music. Of course, we have the fallout of Napster, with BitTorrent and Kazaa doing their work to make sure we can download music and check it out for ourselves instead of spending fifteen bucks on an album before realizing it sucks, which is a blessing unto itself. And no, I don't like trying to figure out what a song sounds like from the forty-second clip on Amazon. But it's also a great way for musicians to get their music out to an uber-wide audience without having to go through the record companies, who aren't almost the smartest cookies in the jar.

And that's cool, cause there are a lot of neat bands out there you can download from. But let's face it, there is also a lot of shit. This is the downside of the internet music scene. The fact that any moron with a cheap sampling program or Apple's Garage Band can upload his or her music and shill all across the board to wherever their filthy hands can post. I have to credit SomethingAwful for some of this, at least for bringing to attention some of the worst music the net can offer. And usually, that means ICP fans.

If you've never heard of the illustrious ICP, they're a "rap/metal" band made up of two fat guys dressed as clowns with dreadlocks. They also spend all their time drinking some stuff called Faygo and writing about it in their songs. Then there's their fans. These guys - and amazingly, girls - are essentially carbon copies, and seem to enjoy calling everyone 'faget' and basically being incredibly stupid and homophobic. And of course, this all comes across in their music. And it usually results in a lot of whitebread suburbanites dressing up as stupid clown rappers and posting on the internet, and I quote: "ICP fanz r da best, all u gys r fagets." Put that on top of a lame repetitive base hip/hop beat and guitar, and you have their music. Post that on a website that was obviously designed with Crayolas, some day-glo yellow paint and a potato, and you get the picture. I see these guys posting all the time, and they get incredibly aggressive very quickly, and usually very, very homophobic, especially when their idiocy is pointed out in plain english, and even more when you criticize their "music." So guys, next time you have an inkling to dress up like Krusty by way of Korn, just take this under advisement.

Don't fucking bother.

(Fett)